


London Calling Redux (Jamie’s POV)

by comicc_bookk_jawnss



Series: London Calling [2]
Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Romantic Fluff, Underage Jamie - nothing happens beyond a kiss but she mentions sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29464503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comicc_bookk_jawnss/pseuds/comicc_bookk_jawnss
Summary: “Like what ya see?”The response served a dual purpose. The woman would be intrigued, and maybe this would go somewhere; or the woman would be scared off, and she would be spared further small talk. Either way was fine by her.“I think it’s a bit cold for shorts.”//Flashback to Jamie's almost first one-night-stand interspersed with her present-day reunion with the woman; Damie content, too
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Series: London Calling [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164197
Kudos: 23





	London Calling Redux (Jamie’s POV)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a PSA, this will not make sense if you haven't read "London Calling" first

“Oh, don’t be like that! You were so sweet. Why do you think I still remember you?” 

Jamie gaped at her. She’d been so mortified it hadn’t occurred to her until now. Maeve had placed her so quickly, recalled her name even.

“Can I tell her? _Please_?”

This situation was really getting away from her — it was like dejá vu. But this time, Jamie could make a different choice. She could stay in it.

“Fine.”

*****

For the record, it was Maeve who approached her.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

On her third G&T of the night — gross as it tasted she had limited funds and wasn’t about to waste them on a weak pint — Jamie turned to find a woman approaching her.

It was surprising considering she was decidedly fit, rather tall, had a fairly posh accent and looked quite a few years older than her, probably 21 or so... and considering Jamie had purposefully chosen a secluded part of the pub, a back corner.

“Like what ya see?”

The response served a dual purpose. The woman would be intrigued, and maybe this would go somewhere; or the woman would be scared off, and she would be spared further small talk. Either way was fine by her.

“I think it’s a bit cold for shorts.”

Jamie felt her eyebrows rise. That was not a response she’d expected. 

She turned away, clenching her free hand into a fist as she felt her cheeks blush. The woman had a point — it was winter, and she was wearing jeans shorts and a raggedy jumper — but it wasn’t like Jamie had an abundance of clothes or a readily accessible means of washing them. Squatting was not exactly cushy.

Jamie decided to ignore the comment and redirect the conversation.

“Don’t think I’ve seen _you_ here before either.”

Of course, she hadn’t. She’d only recently moved to London and had never been to this particular pub. But the woman couldn’t have known that, and yet Jamie heard her chuckle.

“You haven’t been looking very hard then. I’m here every night, almost. Live just around the corner.”

So maybe the woman had seen through her. But Jamie still had more cards to play. She turned back to her, smirking.

“That an invitation?”

The woman appeared taken aback, then contemplative, seemingly reappraising her. And then she smirked herself.

“Do you want it to be?”

It was Jamie’s turn to go wide-eyed. She hadn’t thought that would actually work. But she recovered as quickly as she could.

“And if I do?”

The woman’s smirk faltered, fading into something Jamie couldn’t read, though it seemed pretty clear she wasn’t interested. And why would she be? No one was ever interested in her, gossip about her maybe, but not _her_.

Starting to regret having talked to the woman at all, Jamie turned away, but just then, the woman shot her hand out.

“Maeve.”

Jamie couldn’t help cracking a small smile. But then she cleared her throat and turned back, trying for a more neural expression.

“Jamie.”

Jamie put her drink down and reached over. But before she could even give Maeve’s hand a proper shake, Maeve was dragging her out of the pub. With her face safely out of Maeve’s eyeline, Jamie smiled widely, feeling the happiest she had since moving to London — the happiest she had in years.

By the time they were walking up the stairs to Maeve’s flat, though, Jamie’s bravado was waning. She had known she liked girls for a while but had only ever kissed one, back home — a slightly older teen girl who’d tormented her for years.

There hadn’t exactly been other options, and it had felt nice in a perverse kind of way. She wasn’t used to feeling wanted. And she knew the girl must have wanted her because why else would have kissed her? Well, wanting _her_ was putting it a bit strongly. At the very least, Jamie knew she must be a good kisser because the girl had kept coming back for more, despite treating Jamie no differently in public.

“You okay?”

They were now standing outside what must be Maeve’s flat because she’d stopped, and Maeve was looking at her strangely. Jamie followed her gaze and looked down to find she was biting her thumbnail. 

Cursing herself silently, she tried to play it off, even as she felt her cheeks flush. Lowering her hand, she snapped her smirk back in place, crossed her arms and leaned against the wall beside Maeve’s door.

“’Course. And you?”

Maeve chuckled, shaking her head slightly as she turned to the door and brought her key up. A moment later, she’d turned the lock and pushed open the door. She turned back and started to say something, at which point Jamie took control of the situation.

She pushed off the wall, leaned up on her tiptoes, grabbed at Maeve’s jacket, pulling Maeve down to her level, and cut her off with a searing kiss. Jamie had never once done something this impulsive — well, dropping out of school and moving to London, aside. It was... it was something else.

For once, her mind was calm, singularly focused, even as her body tingled all over, like she’d hit her funny bone and the sensation had metastasized.

With the other girl, she’d always felt a boost of confidence, immediately tinged with self-loathing, knowing deep down things would never change between them but that she also would never say no to her. With Maeve — well, she just couldn’t bring herself to doubt it already. And Maeve had definitely made a noise when their lips locked.

“Jamie.”

Jamie opened her eyes, breathing heavily. They were inside Maeve’s apartment now. Breathing a bit heavy herself, Maeve stood up straighter, so Jamie let her hands drop to Maeve’s waist. 

As Maeve leaned back in and closed the door behind them, Jamie leaned up on her tiptoes again. But before she could close her eyes, she felt Maeve press a hand to her chest and gently push her back down.

She may as well have punched her in the gut. Jamie couldn’t breathe and even started to feel a little nauseous, though that could’ve been the alcohol catching up with her — food, too, was hard to come by, and Jamie had discovered if she drank on an emptier stomach, she got drunk faster.

Maeve had stopped her, which meant she had to have been bad, _really bad._ Otherwise, why would she have? Dropping her hands off Maeve’s waist, she scrambled back, right into the door. She grunted and reached up to rub the back of her head. Maeve gasped.

“Are you all right, love?”

Without even realizing it, Jamie slowly dragged her hand from the back of her head to her mouth and bit down on her thumbnail again. 

She knew it was just something people said, didn’t mean anything special. But still, people had rarely addressed her as such. Those who had had mostly been old men, and they’d never said it like... that — like they actually cared.

“I’m sorry.” It came out mumbled. Her thumb was still in her mouth. _Christ._ She saw Maeve’s brow furrow and cleared her throat as she threw her hand back down to her side. “I can, uh, do better.”

Maeve’s eyebrows rose. Then, she was looking at her with something resembling pity, and Jamie felt anger start to rise in her.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jamie clenched her hands. She didn’t appreciate being lied to. As she looked down, she felt Maeve’s hand on her shoulder.

“If you were a few years older - ”

Jamie whipped her head back up.

“’M 16.” She _nearly_ was... save ten months. Maeve smirked. “I am!”

Maeve sighed.

“Even if you _were_ , that’s too young to drink and too young for me.”

At that, Jamie felt her anger boil over.

“What the fuck?!” Maeve jumped slightly. “So you were just leadin’ me on, then.”

She said it as a statement. She should’ve known. 

“No, no, I just... ” Maeve trailed off, seemingly at a loss for what to say. Glaring, Jamie shook Maeve’s hand off her shoulder and turned around. “Wait!”

She saw Maeve press her hand against the door a few inches above her shoulder. Jamie turned back around, laughing darkly.

“What’re ya playin’ at?” Maeve cocked her head. “Ya won’t shag me, but ya won’t let me leave?”

“No!” Maeve went wide-eyed, apparently only just processing that she’d literally pinned Jamie in. She removed her hand and leaned back. “Sorry. You - you can leave, if you want.”

“Right then.”

Jamie turned around once more.

“But don’t go back to the pub.”

Jamie laughed again as she reached for the doorknob.

“Don’t think you’re allowed to be jealous considering we didn’t - ”

Jamie stumbled back as she yanked the door open, tripped over her own feet and fell right into Maeve. Already feeling her face flush, she tried to stand but ended up falling down even more. She felt Maeve catch her by her underarms.

“I have a couch.”

Good for you? That was her first thought, and then she settled on something cheekier. But when she opened her mouth, she hiccuped. She heard Maeve laugh softly, and cheeks now burning, she tried furiously to stand.

This time, Maeve helped her. And then she didn’t let go.

“I have food, too.”

Jamie shook her off but didn’t turn around.

“What d’ya want?”

“What?”

“If it’s not sex, what d’ya want?” Jamie turned around, clenching her hands again. “Why’m I here?!”

For a moment, Maeve gaped at her, and then she sighed, her face once again settling into an expression Jamie couldn’t read. It felt like pity, but different, deeper. Maeve bent down to her level.

“Just looked like you could use a friend, kiddo.”

Despite Jamie’s best efforts, her anger dissipated. No one had ever called her that before — either of those terms, actually. No one had ever spoken to her like this, period, even non-strangers. It was... bizarre. 

After a few moments, Jamie realized Maeve was still talking, calling her name.

“What?”

Maeve smiled, amused.

“What do you want to eat?”

Maeve started listing things off again. But Jamie found herself tuning her out again, still processing. Next thing she knew Maeve was stepping toward her, and Jamie found herself backing into the door for a second time, though not as hard.

“What’re ya doin’?”

It came out higher-pitched than she’d intended.

“You’re shaking.”

“What?”

Jamie looked down at her hands to find Maeve was right, and then she felt it. Her whole body was quivering.

“Here.” Jamie looked up. Maeve was holding out her own jacket, holding it open for Jamie to step into. “You can keep it, if you like.”

It was a bomber jacket. Jamie had always wanted one.

“Why?”

Maeve shrugged.

“It’s a bit small for me, anyway.” She smiled warmly. “It would look cute on you.”

Jamie felt her jaw drop.

“But it’s - it’s yours.”

Maeve’s smile widened.

“And now it’s yours.”

Jamie didn’t move, save for bringing her thumb back to her mouth. After a moment, she saw Maeve’s smile falter and then she saw her calling her name, but she couldn’t hear her. She saw Maeve drop the jacket and step closer, then felt Maeve cup her face.

“Jamie? What’s wrong?”

She could hear her now, but it was distorted, like she was far away. Jamie shook her head and broke away, stumbling toward the other side of the room. Her legs felt like rubber, though how much of that was the alcohol versus whatever was happening right now was beyond her. She made it to a window sill, gasping.

She tried to pull the window up, but it wouldn’t budge. As she felt tears stinging her eyes, she suddenly felt Maeve behind her. She saw Maeve turn the lock, and then she tried again. But with her arms also feeling like rubber, the window only opened a few inches. Blinking away tears, she let her arms fall back down to the sill. And then, she felt a rush of cold air.

She opened her eyes to find the window fully open, then felt Maeve’s hands on her shoulders, turning her around.

“Stay here, okay?”

She sounded distorted again. A moment later, she was dragging the couch over. Jamie felt Maeve take her wrist, gently pull her forward. She disappeared again for a moment. And then her hands were back on her shoulders, gently pushing her down. She felt the air on the back of her neck as she perched on the couch.

“I’m gonna get you some water, love. I’ll be right back.”

She disappeared behind a wall before Jamie fully processed what she’d said. The kitchen had been visible from the other side of the apartment, but not from this side.

When Jamie reached the door, she looked back to see Maeve turning on the faucet, holding a glass below it. For a moment, Jamie’s hand froze on the doorknob, only for a moment. She’d been _fine_ , and now she was... She didn’t even know what. She had to go.

But as she turned back, something caught her eye. The bomber jacket was at her feet. She didn’t even know why she was hesitating. Maeve had literally offered it to her, willingly. 

But somehow, that made it feel wrong to take — which was rather absurd, considering how accustomed Jamie was becoming to stealing. She wasn’t proud of it, but she hadn’t exactly left home with a lot of money or much of a plan.

She heard Maeve turn off the faucet. It still didn’t feel right, but she also wasn’t stupid enough to turn down free clothes. She grabbed it, opened the door and took off.

*****

Jamie felt Dani squeeze her hands — both of them this time. Jamie tried for a smile, but she knew it didn’t show, so she squeezed Dani’s hands in appreciation as she found herself contemplating how close she’d come to screwing things up with her, to not being here with her now. 

What if she hadn’t turned back that night, halfway through her drive home? What if she’d kept pushing Dani away, even after Dani had put herself out there again to break down her walls again? What if she’d run after Dani...

“Anyway, I ought to get going... It was nice seeing you.” Jamie finally snapped out of it and looked up at Maeve, trying for a smile. “You look good.”

“Thank you.” Fuck. She hadn’t registered Maeve’s last comment, already thinking about what she wanted to tell her. “I mean... I never, uh... thanked ya for... ”

For what she hadn’t done? For what she had done? Both?

“No need to thank me, love. Wish I could’ve done more.” 

But Jamie hadn’t let her. How different would her life have been if she had? As she looked down, she felt Maeve squeeze shoulder.

“Seems you turned out alright, though.”

If only Maeve knew. Still, if Jamie had stayed that night, if her life had taken a different track, she wouldn’t have met…

“Dani.”

Why was Dani introducing herself again? 

“I’m sure Dani here would agree.”

“Better than alright. Perfectly splendid.”

At that, Jamie finally, truly snapped out of her funk. Dani was here. This was real. She’d really just said something that lame. She looked up at her, rolling her eyes, but couldn’t help chuckling as she felt her heart flutter. 

“Well, there you have it. You know what you could do for me, though, love?” Jamie turned back to Maeve. “Never got a goodbye kiss.”

A what? She couldn’t be -

“Your face!” 

Jesus. How many times was she to be humiliated in one chance encounter? Chance re-encounter? 

“Oh, I am so glad I ran into you. You’re adorable.”

One more time, apparently. 

“Can I get a hug at least?”

Well, that wasn’t really her call. But she felt Dani’s hands pull away, even before she turned to her. Smiling, Dani nodded toward Maeve. Huh… Wow.

So now it was her call. It was the least she could do for Maeve, really. But she still didn’t have to go out of her way to make it happen. Once she’d nodded, though, Maeve came to her without complaint, bent down until her chin was on her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her.

It was nice, Jamie had to admit. Then again, it wasn’t like she had many hugs to compare it to. All the more reason not to waste this one, so she slowly brought her arms up, gingerly wrapping them around Maeve’s back. Maeve didn’t pull away, and Jamie felt the tension that had consumed her since she’d spotted Maeve finally melt away.

“Cute jacket, by the way.”

Maeve whispered it in her ear. When she hadn’t commented on it, hadn’t even mentioned a jacket in the story, Jamie had assumed she must’ve forgotten about it. She’d been relieved, but also, pathetically, a bit disappointed. But Jamie realized now that she’d omitted the detail on purpose, not wanting to embarrass her in front of Dani. 

And even as she brought it up now, her tone wasn’t teasing. It was… fond, like it had been when she’d offered her the jacket. Jamie heaved back a sob and immediately felt Maeve tense up, then felt her hands start rubbing her back.

“It’s, uh, it’s okay, Jamie.”

A moment later, Maeve pulled back, and Jamie started to panic. Maybe she’d finally pushed her too far. Maeve finally saw her for what a complete wreck she was. Why did she care so much what Maeve thought?

She felt someone else pulling her in. Dani. She threw her arms around her without a second thought.

A moment later, she felt a hand patting her head.

“Bye, kiddo.”

She remembered. She remembered everything. And her tone was unchanged. 

Jamie wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what. All that came out was a whimper. Maeve, even still, was practically a stranger. And yet, she was her... friend. There was no other word for it. It was the word Maeve herself had used. 

“Jesus! I - ” 

She’d bawled on Dani’s shoulder about another woman. She’d bawled on Dani’s shoulder — she’d never done that before.

She looked down at her feet, wiping her face as she cleared her throat. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Jamie, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Of course. Of course she would say that. Jamie just shook her head. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything else, but then she felt Dani gently take her right hand.

“Fuck!” She’d literally taken up smoking in part so she would stop putting her thumb in her mouth like a child every time she got upset or stressed. “Haven’t done it years and, now when I finally have a girlfriend, I can’t... ”

This day. Could she not catch a single break? But Dani smiled softly at her. She felt Dani rubbing her thumb along her knuckles.

“You don’t have to call me that if you... ” Nope, not a single break. “I mean, you can.” Oh? “I want you to call me whatever you want.”

Oh. Jamie felt her eyes watering again as she smiled at Dani in awe. She brought her free hand up to rub her eyes as she sniffled.

“Thanks, Poppins... I, uh, I think ‘girlfriend’ suits ya quite nicely.”

She saw Dani’s smile widen as she felt her squeeze her hand.

“Sounds good to me... and, for the record, as coping mechanisms go... ” She felt Dani lift her right hand slightly. “This one’s pretty adorable.”

She wanted to be annoyed, but Dani was impossibly endearing.

“Not you, too.”

Dani shrugged and then her smile faded.

“Also... you’re allowed to care about other people, and they’re allowed to care about you.” 

Dani was right. She knew Dani was right. But still. This was her reaction, immediate reaction, to meeting her almost first one-night-stand? Dani being her girlfriend, her best friend, her...

“I don’t mind. In fact... I strongly encourage it.”

Dani stepped even closer, and Jamie felt her cup her cheek. Jamie leaned into it slightly, swallowing hard against the lump forming in her throat, then nodded.

“Uh, same... same goes for you.”

Dani’s lips were on hers — soft, tender. Jamie could feel herself smiling again as Dani pulled back a moment later.

“So... food?”

Jamie laughed. 

“Right.”

That’s why they’d left their hotel room in the first place. She turned toward the sidewalk, but then realized there was something more she needed to say. She turned back.

“You’re not a bad kisser, either, for the record.” She felt her heart flutter again as Dani grinned, her cheeks pink, and then she smirked. “Don’t let it go to your head. Only room for one confident person in this relationship.”

There had only ever been one. Jamie winked for good measure and led them back to the sidewalk. 

She did like herself better when she was with Dani, though, liked herself more than she ever had. It still paled in comparison to how inexplicably much Dani liked her, but it was something. It was a beginning.


End file.
